Bratz: The Movie (2007)

>:( I am angry. I am angry that I sat through this pile of trash. I am angry that anyone sat through this pile of trash. I am angry that 7% of Rotten Tomatoes critics gave this pile of trash a positive review. I am angry that this movie exists in the world. I am angry. As the same with a different tween-targeted girly musical flick that has not a shred of decent taste, Standing Ovation, I found this movie by listening to fellow critic/upcoming screenwriter C. Robert Cargill (or Carlyle for my fellow Spillios) rant about how terrible this movie was. He has such a hatred for movies that are terrible. He loves movies that are brilliant, and hates movies that are so utterly incompetent that there are no redeeming factors to it. And also with Standing Ovation, I had to see it just to see if it was that bad. It is. It is worse than you can think. It is absolutely completely terrible. And now I’m gonna try to explain the plot of the film. Based off of the toys of the same name, Bratz: The Movie tells the story of Sasha, Cloe, Yasmine, and Jade, four perfectly perfect, well-dressed, rich, racially diverse “14-year-olds” (we all know that these girls aren’t 14) with attitude, who, on the first day of high school, go against the leader of the school (who knew that you could be queen of the high school on the first day?) named Meredith, by trying to sit together while not sitting with the clique program that she has created. And so this crazy chick spends 3 years (THREE YEARS!) trying to ruin these girls’ lives. This really does make absolutely no sense whatsoever. NOTHING MAKES SENSE IN THIS PILE OF TRASH! PILE OF COMPLETE GARBAGE! This movie isn’t funny, it’s not sweet, it’s not earnest, it’s not good, it’s not decent, it’s not bad, it’s not terrible. It is worse. This is the single worst movie I have ever seen. And now I am going to quote Roger Ebert talking about the movie Freddy Got Fingered, which I find to be my favorite quote by the man. “This movie doesn’t scrape the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn’t the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn’t below the bottom of the barrel. This movie doesn’t deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence as barrels.” And that is what I feel about Bratz: The Movie. And if that’s not going to get my point across, nothing will. ):<
0/10