Season of the Witch (2011)

Ah, Nicolas Cage, what are we going to do with you? You just do not know how to say no to terrible scripts, do you (there is an extremely funny video on CollegeHumor.com and College Humor’s YouTube page about Nicolas Cage’s agent. It is really funny)? The biggest problem with Season of the Witch is that it is so incredibly boring. There are long stretches in the film where it’s just Nicolas Cage, Ron Perlman, and some other guys that I don’t care about, just riding horses with a girl in a cage. And it is so incredibly boring. Because, at least with movies like True Grit or The Eagle, the long stretch scenes work because there are characters that you care about. Not here. I can’t even tell you any of the character’s names. In a time that is a really long time ago that I don’t care about looking up where they still trialed people as witches (but not in Salem), Nicolas Cage’s character is best friends with Ron Perlman’s character, and are the best religious fighters in the kingdom, or the world, I don’t care. Either way, they walk away from fighting and become scavengers, for some moral reason or something. And a month later, they return and are put with the task of transporting an alleged witch from point A to point B, where she will get a fair trial, because Cage thinks that the girl should be trailed fairly. And then we have a really long time before something interesting happens, and when it does, it is an ending that is so out-of-character and s out-of-the-blue that it throws you off. But it is sort of cool, in a really dumb sense. But the middle of the film is what makes me so angry. I actually fell asleep for ten minutes while watching the film. I never bothered to rewind the DVD. Because I knew what happened. Absolutely nothing. And that is why this film is terrible. Not because it’s executed badly, not because whatever happens doesn’t seem to matter, it’s just that nothing happens in the entire film. I can’t even recommend Season of the Witch on a dumb film aspect. It is just boring as a movie can be.
1.5/10