Something Borrowed (2011)

Before publishing this review, I published my review for the Sarah Jessica Parker film I Don’t Know How She Does It. If you were new to my site, you may assume that that is about as low I can go in pure hatred. If you think that, my friend, you have not seen Something Borrowed. Based off of the novel of the same name by Emily Griffin, Something Borrowed is the tale of Rachel (Ginnifer Goodwin, one of the most annoying people on the planet) who once had a crush on her law class buddy Dex (Colin Egglesfield, another one of the most annoying people on the planet), and he is now engaged to her best friend Darcy (Kate Hudson, just as annoying and gut-wrenching as the previous two). And then there’s Ethan (John Krasinski, who deserves a better movie than this), who is crow-barred into this movie at an insanely tedious way. The problem is that Darcy and Dex have feelings for each other, and they sleep together while drunk, but there’s engagements, and hidden feelings, and YOU ALL ACT LIKE ME AND MY FRIENDS DO! AND WE’RE THIRTEEN AND FOURTEEN! HECK, WE’RE TOO GOOD FOR THIS! Sorry. I just had to get that out. These people act so completely childish, they are just retelling a big-girl version of how nine-year-olds act. And that wouldn’t matter as long as the characters were likable, the jokes funny, and the situations real. But it isn’t real, it’s just another romantic comedy made by the soulless people in Hollywood who don’t understand how people make movies. It is the anti-500 Days of Summer, a romantic comedy with a true soul. And here, we have a soulless movie, one that I do stress that you should never watch. Also-something to make my day better so I don’t explode, go to my friend’s blog at www.caseycroweknows.blogspot.com He reads my stuff, and he needs something to explode to introduce him into the world. Go there, but seriously-never watch this movie.
1/10