Real Steel (2011)

Okay, I know that I’m really behind on my reviews, but my Freaks and Geeks binge is over, as all 18 episodes have been digested by my brain (it is the second best drama show out there, behind AMC’s Breaking Bad, not including HBO, SHOwtime, FX, or any other TV-MA [which I cannot see] shows of the like), which makes me so sad. JUDD APATOW, MAKE MORE FREAKS AND GEEKS! I don’t care about if you have to make new characters, just make more episodes! MORE FREAKS AND GEEKS! But it’s time for me to stop ranting about things I love so very close to my heart, this is time for Real Steel. To imagine Real Steel, think Over the Top but with Wolverine and robots. That fight. Hugh Jackman and fighting robots should have been a more exciting film. But it is not. Based off of the Richard Matheson short story “Steel” (which if you even look at the actual plot of the story, which was butchered in the film, you could make a really good movie with this), the film follows down-on-his-luck former-boxer Charlie Kenton, who exists in a world, supposedly nine years in the future (not gonna happen), in which robots have taken over from humans in boxing. So now Kenton is buying robots and making them fight (there is a scene where the robot punches a cow). And when he is down on money, rent, and everybody hates him, he finds out he has a son, and his ex-girlfriend, the mother of the son, is dead. Do we know why? Do we even have any sympathy or previous knowledge? Even a montage? Nope. This is one of the few times where I ask for a montage. Anyway, he decides to take care of the son (actually really wonderfully played by Dakoto Goyo, which, in my opinion, is probably one of the strongest things about the film), even though he doesn’t want him around, I don’t get it. Doesn’t matter. But they find this small sparring robot, who they train to fight, including a terrible and soul-wrenching scene in which the son teaches the robot to dance, which becomes a recurring thing in the film, which is because the film beckons me to hate it. *NOTE* I AM GONNA SPOIL SOME STUFF AFTER THIS MOMENT. IF YOU DO NOT WANT THE ENDING OF THE FILM TO BE SPOILED, DO NOT READ ON. IF YOU HAVE SEEN THE FILM, OR HAVE BETTER THINGS TO CARE ABOUT, READ ON. *NOTE OVER* And then the film just goes for it, and then completely rips off Rocky. I even quote a very funny CollegeHumor sketch, “Overheard at Real Steel”, in which one of the characters states, “Wait, the bad guy won by descision, how is this any different from the end of Rocky?” “The part in five minutes where I ask for my money back.” If I had paid for the film (and I would have paid for Paranormal Activity 3 instead), I would have asked for my money back. The film is lazy, the script uninspired, the director, Shawn Levy, REALLY needs to stick to super-goofy films like Date Night and Night at the Smithsonian, both of which I like, but they’re ridiculous. Shawn Levy needs to be ridiculous, and if he isn’t, he fails. This movie fails. There are some very good moments, like the acting, the visuals, the fight scenes take Transformers to the ground, and some of the scenes are really fun, but the movie is too light at times, too heavy at others, just uneven, unpleasant, and leaving a bitter taste in my mouth. Just go re-watch Rocky.
5.5/10