Zookeeper (2011)

A lot of people really have been bagging on this film, some downright calling it one of the worst films of the year. It really isn’t. It’s just completely inept, and has not a single joke that follows through. There are scenes where something will probably happen, dumb joke or not, at least they’re trying. But there is no payoff. And that is a truly disappointing thing. Kevin James, in this film, blandly portrays a zookeeper named Griffin, who when he tries to propose to his girlfriend (Leslie Bibb), who later turns him down. It was a wonderful proposal, everything was perfect. “It shouldn’t bother me that you’re a zookeeper, but, it kind of does.” Which is the single only funny and true joke in the entire film. Which is kind of sad. There aren’t even any attempts for jokes (besides that one) in this entire film. It’s like the Amy Adams flick Leap Year. You can’t call it a failed attempt at comedy, because there is no attempt to fail at! And even if movies don’t have jokes, it can still be good. As long as the characters are likable, their words are what people would actually say, and the film doesn’t try to cheat out of work, it should be good. But here, we have no emotional attachment to the characters, we have nothing of any importance to say about them. None of the dialogue even makes sense, and the film just gets by on being completely lazy. The crew on this film treats it like I do Latin homework the night after an AMC show is on. Forgetful, and doing it at the last minute. I should probably explain the rest of the plot. After his heart is broken, Griffin finds out that the animals at the zoo he works at can talk, and they help him try to win back his former girlfriend also with the help of a fellow zookeeper (Rosario Dawson), and we know how this is going to end up. But the thing is, none of this film is making sense. Why would a bunch of zoo animals try to help this bumbling idiot get a girl? ITJUST MAKES ME ANGRY! Hate is a strong word, I do recognize that. I use it more than I should, and I’m trying to tone down. I am toning down right now. I hate Kevin James. He has never made a good film. This is a truly terrible, lazy, and completely unfunny film. Please stay away.
2.5/10