Standing Ovation (2010)

As of me writing this review, I have been alive and watching movies for thirteen years. And Standing Ovation might just be one of the worst. It definitely cracks the top ten. It is so undeniably inept and stupid it makes me want to claw my eyes out and eat them rather than watch this atrocity again. In 99.99% of films I see, even if I don’t like them, I will find something good about it. Not here. The entire hour and forty-six minutes I was angry. I wanted a physical form of the film so I could beat it and punish it for its wrongdoings. Nothing is even remotely right with this film. It is supposedly written and directed by Stewart Rafill, who worked on such bombshells as Mac & Me and Mannequin Two: On the Move. I do not believe that any normal functioning adult could, much less be allowed to write a script this terrible. The dialogue is flat, the songs are boring, the camerawork is awful, the actors are atrocious, the characters all come from stereotype city, and there isn’t a moment in the film that isn’t clichéd up to the brim. The idea is that these kids are in a singing competition…and I don’t care. I could have AND HAVE written a better script. And I am thirteen years old. I am not boasting at all. See this film and you will see that it is impossible to write a worse script. I originally saw Standing Ovation because I had heard from C. Robert Cargill (or Carlyle for us Spill.com fans) that it was the worst movie of the year. He was right. And I have yet to see The Last Airbender, but a film cannot be worse than this mess was. Everyone that was involved with this film, especially the actors (I’m usually easy on child actors, but this is inexcusably terrible) should change their names, and never work in cinema again. And everybody that posted a five/five star review on iTunes should take their idiot kids and idiot friends and go see Care Bears, because you will obviously eat whatever is on your plate. I am being cynical, and mean, and in almost any other movie, I will apologize. Not here. I am so mad at this movie and all the people who made this movie possible. I am mad at the actors, the ‘writer’, the producers, the fans, everyone. They need to all bury their faces in their hands and admit that their friends were in this awful film and were just trying to help them out. SHUT UP!!!!!!! STOP TRYING TO TRICK PEOPLE!!!!!! THIS MOVIE IS THE WORST MOVIE OF THE PAST TEN YEARS!!!!!!! I want to hit this film. I want to hit it in the face. And if I make my review any longer, my head will explode from anger. So, here it is. Over 500 words of me bashing on the worst film ever made in recent memory. If you want to watch it…don’t say you weren’t warned.
0/10