Meet the Spartans (2008)

*sigh*. I saw Meet the Spartans, and it, like any other film baring the label-Friedberg/Seltzer, is awful. It is a painfully bad film. Is it as bad as Epic Movie? No. That’s difficult. I don’t know a lot of movies that are as bad as Epic Movie. And that’s good. But let’s stop talking about things that are good. This is a review of Meet the Spartans. And why is this film, while still terrible, is better than Epic Movie? For two reasons-The film mainly parodies 300, and since 85% of the film sticks to that parody, the film actually has a legitimate plot. It’s basically 300, but without the Zack Snyder slow-motion. The second reason is that there is one joke in the film where I actually laughed out loud, and I can recall it and laugh at it again. But other than that, no. Nothing else is funny in this movie. If you can even call it a movie. Because it stretches the word ‘movie’ beyond belief. It would be better off if it was a YouTube video. No. I’ve seen a thousand YouTube videos better than this. I really cannot compass in words how terrible this movie is. I can only sum it, and all the other Friedberg/Seltzer movies, like this-Have you ever seen Saw? Say there is a trap with two guys and a TV. The two guys have their ankles chained to the ground (like the first Saw), and the TV is playing Friedberg/Seltzer movies. The only way to escape is to cut your own foot off. If I was one of those two guys, within the first ten minutes of the first movie my foot would be off. Yes, these films are that terrible. So if you want a nice night with your friends, see something else. If you’re alone and will watch literally anything, watch something else. If you have the option of watching paint dry or see Meet the Spartans, pick the paint. Trust me. I am here to help you.
1/10