Killers (2010)

There are four types of bad movies: movies that just leave a sour taste in your mouth, movies that are disappointingly bad, movies that are so bad they’re good, and movies that are painful to watch. The two types of movies I hate the most are disappointments and train wrecks, the second and fourth ones mentioned. And while Killers is a bad film, by any definition of the word, it is one of those sour movies. And it gets really sour when you see moments that are actually pretty fun. But still not enough to be disappointed. The film’s plot is decent, if unoriginal. Honestly, at the very core stages of development, this probably sounded like a really good idea. I’m pretty sure the pitch went like this-“Hey, I’ve got a good idea. We have a James Bond character, but he’s married and not a spy anymore. And his wife doesn’t know, but when people start to come kill him, the two have to go on the run.” “That actually sounds pretty good! Who do you have in mind to play the married couple?” “Katherine Heigl and Ashton Kutcher.” “Oh, boy.” And so that’s the plot. James Bond got married. And James Bond is Ashton Kutcher, who couldn’t play a convincing role to save his life. And Katherine Heigl is no better. These are two of the prettiest and least talented actors out there right now. And they keep getting work. And that is what is wrong with Hollywood, and it does make me very sad. And that creates the fact that the only good scenes in the movie are the action scenes where the actors didn’t want to get damaged, so they used stunt doubles. Those doubles can act better than their counterparts. And yes, the action in the film is actually played pretty well. It is well directed, well shot, well scored, and just a lot of fun. Then they try to throw in comedy, or drama, or character development, and it just all falls flat. It just falls flat on its face. It is so bad. Sure the action is good, but it’s no reason to rent it. I’m glad I borrowed it from a friend, because if I had paid for it, I would be really mad. And I’m not really mad at the movie. I’m just writing my review really quickly so I can forget the film entirely.
3/10