Epic Movie (2007)

This movie is painfully awful. Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer…wow…they need to never work in Hollywood again. But wait, this was made in 2007. And since then, there has been Meet The Spartans, Disaster Movie, and Vampires Suck. And before, there was Date Movie. None of these movies have scored more than 6% on Rotten Tomatoes. I’m just hoping for the day that they give up and quit. The thought puts a smile on my face. The film has the tagline of-‘From 2 of the 6 writers of Scary Movie.’ And the Scary Movie films are hit-or-miss affairs. I’m pretty sure Friedberg and Seltzer are the two who write most of the ‘miss’ jokes, as this film is filled with them. If I remember correctly, I think I chuckled once or twice during this film. It is just so excruciatingly bad. I wanted to go up to Friedberg and Seltzer and spit in their faces. The film is just a bad parody of every movie that was popular in 2007. To quote the great Korey Coleman from Spill.com-“Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, I want their heads on my table tomorrow morning, severed at the neck!” And he is nothing but right. This movie is the biggest train wreck of 2007. There is no plot. There’s Narnia…and Harry Potter…and Willy Wonka…and…wow… I said that Juno was the best film of 2007, and it is. You want the other end of the spectrum? Epic Movie. It is one of the biggest messes I have ever seen. Nothing is right about the film. Honestly, it is a disgrace. It doesn’t even deserve to be in the same genre as movies like Monty Python and the Holy Grail and Airplane! It is a monstrosity…just…gah! I want to punch the film in the face. And you know what I have to go do tomorrow? I have to pick up another one. I am going to review these terrible films, all of them. And then I will be done, watch Amadeus, and then have faith in cinema again. I have seen better films released straight-to-DVD! AHH! DAVEY ANGRY!
0.5/10