Battle: Los Angeles (2011)

I’m not really sure if I like this film or if I don’t. It’s a difficult film to review. On one hand, it is a gigantic visual epic, not meant to be analyzed like other films. On the other hand, there are a lot of parts about it that are really terrible and can be better. The film begins with an amazing few seconds involving the alien attack on Los Angeles, and then the screen flashed some of the worst words any watcher of a mindless movie can see-24 minutes earlier. What proceeds for about twenty minutes is some of the single worst acting, writing, cinematography, directing, and editing I’ve seen in a good while. I really didn’t think I could sit through the movie if it kept this up. And then, after spending almost a half-hour with characters I had no sympathy for whatsoever, the aliens come, and the film kicks into high gear. Well, I really shouldn’t say that. As high a gear this film can go. The film, while it does look very impressive, is flawed beyond belief. The film isn’t written. It is a series of explosions, with horribly ad-libbed dialogue in between. Now, I know this isn’t true, but this is exactly what it looks like. And the actors are so awful it makes me want to vomit, which is sad because it is Aaron Eckhart, who was nothing short of amazing in The Dark Knight. This has to be a different actor. It has to be! Here, he is cardboard. No, wait. If a piece of cardboard was moving, and talking, and holding a gun, I might be more interested. I think that a movie with mutant cardboard would be kind of awesome. That’s just me. Also, the cinematography and directing are beyond terrible. Maybe, if the actors were directed well, they could be remotely believable. But no. And the cinematography? Wow. That is probably the hugest flaw of the film. It would make more sense if the film was listed as a ‘found-footage’ film, because the camera shakes all over the place, to the point of nausea. The cinematography is beyond painfully terrible. And the only reason they didn’t make is ‘found-footage’? Because then they couldn’t have the few calm wide shots that I can actually make sense of. Anyway, the movie is extremely dumb. It makes a Michael Bay film look like something that would be nominated for Best Picture. And Michael Bay films, while I do find them very enjoyable, are the epitome of dumb films. But this review isn’t about Michael Bay. It is about Battle: Los Angeles, which I can sum it up as this-The film version of one of those chocolate bunnies that is chocolate on the outside and hollow on the inside. It is all style, no substance. Is it enjoyable? Yes, it is. Is it remotely intelligent? Nope. And I usually defend dumb films, but here, the dumb brings down the film so much that it hurts. And that makes me sad…and nauseous.
4/10